I’ve been thinking about this a lot. There’s been a lot of chatter about what women can and can’t have… and whether or not they really can have it all. First, off what does “having it all” even mean? It’s an elusive and evading concept at best. And worse yet, it’s not really reachable, is it? Quite frankly, I’m pretty sure I would be scared and unhappy if I ever did feel that I really did “have it all.” I’m a fixer, a problem solver, a creative mess. And if I have everything, what’s worth fighting for? Ok yes, I’m taking this question a little bit to toward the extreme side. But my point remains: if I were to respond to Anne Marie Slaughter’s article or Sheryl Sandberg’s rallying cry, I’d say that yes, you can’t necessarily have it all, but you can have what you want, and what you really, really need.
I think sometimes that if all you learn in college is what exactly you need to be a proper functioning adult– and as an added benefit, a successful one– you’ve learned quite a bit. Setting time aside to figure out the 3-5 things you need each and every week to be at your best is doable… and it’s helpful. It’s something I’ve seen so many female leaders from Marissa Mayer to my professors talk about. Whether you need to grocery shop and know what’s in your fridge, go out and dance, or just eat out once every week, honing in on that one ‘need’ and making it a priority for yourself helps. It helps you ask others for help on the things you really don’t want to be doing and it helps you stave off that resentment you feel at the end of the week when you’ve worked too hard and you can’t even get the one darn thing you really want.
For me, I’ve realized those things I need keep changing. And that’s not a bad thing. But there are constants. Like swinging outside on the playground and skating to music or teaching little kids . It’s just having an hour to drink coffee and watch Meet the Press on Sundays or carving out the time in my schedule to fixate on my friends’ lives and their adventures. These are all things I need. Slowly and slowly, they’ve become priorities. And you know what? That’s a good thing. I don’t think you should ever have to explain your priorities. But you can (and I’d endeavor should) make them happen. Just for you.
Happy Tuesday! xo Inesha